Prof Dr Bima Tanayatatwa

[This is a serial of lakonet written by Siswo Harsono. What is lakonet? Find the answer here]

Anjrah kang puspita rum
Kasliring samirana mrih
Sekar mekar manekawarna
Maweh bebungahing driya

ASTINA.—The Rector of Sokalima State University Prof Dr Durna, General Director of Higher Education Prof Dr Krepa, and Minister of Education Prof Dr Bisma visit President Duryudana.

KREPA: Our Majesty President Duryudana, our distinguished Minister of Education Prof Dr Bisma, our beloved Rector SSU Prof Dr Durna, and all favorite leaders of Kurawa—good morning! In this occasion we visit Mr President on purpose to give a report on the autonomous existence of a private university, Bayupitu University, in Kurusetra, led by Rector Prof Dr Bima Tanayatatwa. The university becomes a heavy rival for all state universities of Astina. That's it, Prof?

DURNA: Exactly! Even more than that, the university can destabilize the nation of Astina for changing the campus to be a business place and political practice.

BISMA: Hmh! It's not ethical to change campus to be business place. It will be complicated if campus is changed to be political arena.

DURYUDANA: How dangerous it is, Prof Dur?

SAKUNI: Prof Dur! Prof Dur! Day-dreaming! The salary increases you are still in sad head, bitter-thinker, shabby-baby as always. Hehehe… do you have a personal problem, Prof?

DURNA: Ah, Pak Kun, don't tease me. Durna has cleaned himself from both self and familial interests for this country. Not for salary! Durna's life is dedicated for education progress. The result is not in vain—Sokalima is capable of making corporal and general, chairperson of RT and director of PT, statesman, bureaucrat, technocrat, and conglomerate. However, oh my Lord! Should the elite state universities of Astina go backward and be ruined? No way! It's better to close Bayupitu University! Dangerous!

KARNA: Sorry, Sir! Education is human right for all. Moreover, Bayupitu University is established in the region of Amarta.

BALADEWA: Hush, Karno! Karno! Button your lips! You can be a governor because of the memo of Mr. President! You become a statesman because of exploiting your wife! You upgrade your military rank because of your father-in-law's katebelece! Don't show off! Grrk-phew! You don't know yourself!

SAKUNI: Hehehe… Astina does not confess the authority of Amarta. The interest of Kurawa is for all! Mr. Karna should understand.

DURNA: Nah, ha, ha, ha… precisely! Furthermore, the impact of Bayupitu has made slebor professors, door to door lectors, impotent assistants, vendor scientists, because of crazy bankruptcy madly no money. Because there is no bonus for committee, honor for controlling and correcting national exam; there is no oily money for accreditation! Nah, ha, ha, ha… that's it, Prof Krepa?

KREPA: Ay, Sir! Though we are full of credit points, we always need credit coins.

DURYUDANA: Great! Close Bayupitu! Disperse! If necessary, destroy it!

DURNA: Nah, ha, ha, ha… accord!

DURYUDANA: Captain Karto, contact all troops of Astina!

KARTAMARMA: Yes, Sir!

“Banjarjumut Division, Banyutunalang Division, Banakeling Division, Ujunglautan
Division, Awangga Division, Mandraka Division, Mandura Division—ready to move!”
“Go forward!”

Standby sang Dursasana
Troop commander of Astina!

Kurawa attack the campus
The students deadly push

UNIVERSITAS BAYUPITU, AMARTA.—The Rector Prof Dr Bima Tanayatatwa invites Prof Bayu Kanetra an expert of pithecoidology, Prof Bayu Maningrat an expert of deusoidology, Prof Bayu Pulasia an expert of gigantoidology, Prof Bayu Estibanda an expert of monsteroidology, Prof Bayu Maruta an expert of austroculture, Prof Bayu Baruna an expert of oceanoculture, dan Prof Bayu Maenaka an expert neoculture.

BIMA: Our distinguished professors! Are you regret the action of Kurawa's troops?

KANETRA: Of course! But, I regard such an action is funny clown. And we could defend ourselves.

PULASIA: Huahaha… right! The attack's no significance for biomacrobot, my robotic engineering.

ESTIBANDA: And my future monsterobot could destroy the troops.

MANINGRAT: Bastard Kurawa! Such a snob Wayang's dare to show off. Overacting! Khhk-phew!

MARUTA: They should be educated, Prof! Make them nyaho!

BARUNA: All right! They think sciences only exist in Sokalima State University, technology only exists in Talkanda University? So proud!

BIMA: Great! The military action of Astina should be executed. Prepare the troops of biomacrobot and monsterobot to attack Astina.

PULASIA: Yes, Sir!
ESTIBANDA: OK!

“Gigantoid Division, Monsteroid Division, and Pithecoid Division—ready to move!”
“March forward!”

The artificial soldiers move
Powerful and well equipped

The riot of
Gara-gara

TUMARITIS, DESA DADAPAN.—Panakawan is joking.

“Hello, Friends—ahihi… I'm Bagong! How are you? Good! Rin, Nur—how is your exam?
All great I'm so sure! Ahihi… where is Ba'ang Petruk? Come here!”
“Hehe…back
home from urban, Gong? Using slang language! Variation! You always call kang,
and even njangkar, now ba’ang.”
“Don't get mad at me?”
“Not mad! Use Bahasa Indonesia perfectly and correctly. If you want to speak English, you should use it perfectly and correctly.”
“Bullshit! Pretend to be an expert! Pretend to be a linguist! You think I'm courser. You know I don't finish elementary school, don't teach me. Phew! Not necessary to speak correctly but beautifully. Make me yucky!”
“Hehehe… Gong, don't look at me like that, role
your eyes.”
“Up to me!”
“You see, Gong? Technically rich but critically poor is not a perfect art. Wealthy stylish writing without idea is not
literature.”
(Toot!)
“Phew! Fart u!”

Yu yus tu bi mai parti dol
Bat now yu sey de parti’s oper

“Gareng again pretends to a rocker, not fluently speaking likes chatting.”
“Huaha… Yeah! K’yu.”
“Stop—de bokaps kams!”

Semar: Let's look for Mr. Bima. Where does he go, Mr. Jun?

Arjuna: I don’t know, Mr. Semar.

Panakawan and Arjuna
Pass through the jungle

Raksasabala kagiri-giri
Mal-foe of all guru

RIMBA PRINGGACALA.—In the middle of the jungle General Arjuna and Panakawan are banned and robbed by the giants.

“L-look, Lung! T-the is a v-victim, l-let's b-bomb them, Gog!”
“Ko’e! Eh, ssh! Be careful! He is the warrior of Pandawa.”
(Thunk!)—“Stop!”
“Hmfh, who are you?”
“W-what! Y-you k-know m-me n-not? A n-notorious Cakil? D-don’t g-go forward!—(Bang!)—“Ouch… I die, Gooog!”
“Hah, Cakil dies! Bastard! Such a pretty man is bravely in action. Son of a bitch! I eat u—hiiaatt!”—(Clunk!) + (Thwack!)—“Ouch! Bruised I'm… ouch.” + “Look out Bragalba!”—(Bang!)
“Ouch, Mrangalma dies! Nyangil dies! Dangerous! Run, Ngoog!”—(Thwack!)—“Ouch! Me die!”—(Thump!)
“Ahihi… Truk, all GPK giants died.”
“Hehehe… how
foolish!”

The giants made riot
The giants all died

In the jungle Arjuna
Meets Professor Durna

Durna: Nah, hahaha… accidentally we meet, General Juna.

Arjuna: Hi! Prof Dur, where are going—?

Durna: Dangerous, Mr. Juna! I left Sokalima because there is a coup in Astina. Pres Dur digusur! Kurawa pada kabur!

Arjuna: Who is the doer?

Durna: Artificial soldiers—biomacrobot and monsterobot soldiers from the Division of… ah, what is it? Basically, those all are the products of Bayupitu University. Help me, General Juna—save our almamater.

Arjuna: All right! Mr. Semar—let's go to Astina.

Semar: OK, Sir! Sons, let's go!

“Okay!” + “Come on!” + "Great!”

Immediately Arjuna
Goes to Astina

Riot in Bayupitu
Cast away Balakuru

ASTINA.— Arjuna visits Prof Dr Bima Tanayatatwa.

Arjuna: Excuse me, Prof Bima—such an action is too brave and disharmonious to Pandawa's policy. On behalf of Pandawa nation, would you please rehabilitate the government of Kurawa.

Bima: Hmh, OK! But the Regime of Kurawa never ever disturbs the autonomous right of Bayupitu University. Besides, you should look for General Bratasena who was kidnapped and sunk in the middle of an ocean by the Mariner of Astina.

Arjuna: What? General Bratasena was kidnapped by Kurawa! Oh, how dare, Mr. Semar?

Semar: Em-em-em, ahahaha… don't worry, General. Tan samar pamoring suksma anuksma, Prof Dr Bima Tanayatatwa is General Bratasena. And Prof Bayu Kanetra is Prof emiritus Kapiwara from Kendalisada University, alias General Ret. Anoman.

Bima: You're right, Mar!

And the great Semar's wit
Gives the professor's insight.

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